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Saturday, June 13, 2015

An Ode to Oneself

I am a traveler.
I go to places where my mind can have peace.
I got to places where my heart stops beating and never beats again the same way.
I wanna go to places where there no negativity.
No drivers who were impatient and shouting.
No little kids on street sides that were abandoned.
No family under the bridge who shares in a cup of rice.

I am a photographer.
I am aspiring to be one.
I capture the smiles of the people around me.
I want the happiness to be visible and stay for a long time.
But it doesn't.
I end up taking photo of a lonely person in cafeteria.
I end up focusing on the pregnant woman holding a lit cigarette.
I end up seeing the disposable things floating crammed in the wide river.

I am a time-saver.
I am not a timekeeper.
Yes, I do not waste time dealing with the regretful notions.
Yet, i do not save time for the important things.
I spent time on the temporary things.
Here now, gone later.
Joy for a minute, tears for a whole day.
I am not able to enjoy the sunlight
I wake up complaining about the heat.
I find birds chirping a noise and the warm wind disgusting.

I am a money-keeper.
I keep them and say I am generous.
I'd like to see others above me.
Yet, I feel jealous.
Rich have all they need and have all they want.
But doesn't care about the shelter-less.

I am not GOD.
I am not perfect.
I do not hold the world in my hand.
The worlds is neither containing me alone.
I can't control myself though I have a choice.
I can't control the scenes around me either.
I can't have long lasting peace.
I do not have a forever love.
Selah.


JESUS.
He is the love, the only truth that lives.
He is peace Himself.
And He wants to walk with me.
He holds my hands and guide me.
He cheers me while I am running the race and keeps from stumbling.
When I fell, He offered His hands.
I noticed a hole. And blood came running down His face.
Tears filled my eyes, a nail and hammer dropped from my hands.
No, I am not a murderer.
I've just forgotten my first love, my passion, the One who loves me the most.
Scales fell from my eyes which blinded me.
Now I see the light.
The people have no more tears, they are clothed in white.
There's a pure river of joy by the cross bridge.
Little children sing with the birds under the canopy of the wide-branched trees.
There is an anchor of faith and anchor of hope.
There is LOVE.


Now, I live to see to Jesus.
And His life influencing.
I am not a traveler.
Not a photographer, nor a timekeeper.
I live to be like Jesus.
I am to be Him to others.




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