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Sunday, March 3, 2013

Y?

It was this week that I wanted to write about so many things. Well, as for me, my emotions, my mood affect my feeling to write. When I'm in mood, I wrote about bliss and positive things and when I'm not? Then it's a "NO". As in my output is somehow pessimistic. And this night, I’ve already posted two of the many thoughts I wanted to put into words. Honestly, I can still remember them all, yet the feelings for those two notions remained, the others were not retained.

This night, I don’t know what I am feeling. I wanted to explode, to burst and yet I wanted to be quiet. I wanted to scream whispers. I wanted to shout quietly…very ironic of me. I’m not, once again, “emo” as people term it. I was just a normal individual who have senses in which the outlet are words. It’s true that no matter how loquacious you are, there are things you just can’t say or maybe there no words to express its degree. Frankly, I’m feeling unhappy. I’m thinking about this lately: Am I just happier a while ago or is there something that didn’t get my way? Am I acting fake a while ago or what? Am I crazy? Hopefully and truthfully, no!
I don’t know if someone feels what I am feeling now. It’s like there’s something that bothers me that I still can’t figure out. And it is just a normal day. Probably, I was exhausted physically, mentally or emotionally rather. I can’t say. I just wanted words to come out and unload the inner me.
Circle encircles the earth—flyleaf lyrics. Circle, never ending…never elevating. Things go repetitively. I should get used to those, to these I guess. Yet there still an element of me that yearns for hope, that one day God will wipe away the tears. And that the greatest hope I can contentedly have is in the life after the earthly life. Those who knew me will understand me. Those who are not, in time, they will. What makes me feel like this? It’s about kin and wholeness and my very own outlook.

Tomorrow will be another day. There are always tomorrow.

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